WEEKLY HABIT 1: ONE HOUR CONVERSATION WITH A FRIEND
The Habit at a Glance
With our communication, there can be no community...That is why conversation, discussion, or talk is the most important from of speaking or listening.
MORTIMER J. ADLER
"No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you."
JESUS (JOHN 15:15)
Whenever you go our, walk together, and when you reach your destination, stay together.
THE RULE OF ST. AUGUSTINE
THE HABIT AT A GLANCE
We were made for each other, and we can't become loves of God and neighbor without intimate relationships where vulnerability is sustained across time. In habitual, face-to-face conversation with each other, we find a gospel practice; we are laid bare to each other and loved anyway.
THREE WAYS TO START
Standing meeting. Try setting up a standing time with a friend - such as every Thursday evening or Friday morning - when you always get together. Don't be discouraged by the fact that sometimes you have to miss; be encouraged by the face that the rule is getting together, and the exception is missing it sometimes.
For couples. Find a couple(s) where you get together as couples each with to talk or send the guys to one house and the gals to another to avoid the need for babysitting.
From roommates to friendship. Setting up a weekly time to eat and talk or share a drink can be the keystone habit that moves people from just roommates to real friends. Consider setting up a time when the people you live with get together not to talk about housekeeping but just to talk about life with no distractions.
THREE CONSIDERATIONS
On telling secrets. The questions is not how to tell secrets; everyone knows how. The question is whether it's worth it. With someone you trust and who loves you, it always is. Tell your secrets (not someone else's secrets.). Do it tonight. It will change your life and will probably inspire your friends to tell theirs too. There's no bigger catalyst for deep relationships than telling your secrets.
The power of good questions. Often great conversations come from someone who has mastered the are of good questions. If that isn't you, consider brainstorming with your friends to come up with come good questions you can regularly ask each other.
Open friendships. While the habit of weekly convesation begins in intimacy, it ends in openness. The goal of gospel friendships is not just to enjoy the fruits of friendship together, but also to offertham as nourishment to the world. Think of your spaces of friendship as on of the first places to invite a new person you meet to.
The darkness rages in us, but honest conversation is a practice of light.