Daily Habit # 3

We were made for presence, but so often our phones are the cause of our absence. To be two places at a time is to be no place at all. Turning off our phone for an hour a day is a way to turn our gaze up to each others, whether that be children, coworkers, friends, or neighbors. Our habits of attention are habits of love. To resist absence is to love neighbor.

Hour at home. I find that having the same hour every day goes a long way toward creating a rhythm of presence at home. In my house, somewhere around 6:30 and 7:30 p.m. is the best time for phones to be off for conversation, play, and presence.

Hour at work. Picking an hour every morning at work to keep you phone off may be the way to start for you. Choose a time when you know it's okay to be unavailable or a time when you need to concentrate or get creative work done.

Hour for silence. You may choose the first or last hour of your day to turn your phone off. This can create meaningful space for solitude and silence. Consider using Do Not Distrub or a similair setting on you phones to set up regular phone-free hours. Better yet, in his excellent book on the topic, The Tech-Wise Family, Andy Crouch suggested putting you phone to bed before you go to bed and waking up before wakes up.

The art of communication. So much is solved by communicating well. If you have a demanding job that you think makes an hour without your phone seem impossible, think hard about whether that is really the case every day. Often it's just hard, especially if we're scared of communicating what we're doing. It might mean telling your family or coworkers you'll be unavailable. Either way, telling people is key.

Mastering devices. Beyond turning your phone off, there's a lot you can do through settings to shape your phone into being a device that is more likely to communicate your presence instead of divide your presence. I suggest turning off all notifications, and then over a week, turn the ones you truly miss or need back on. Also use voice controls whenever possible. This often will keep you from opening the phone and then getting distracted by ten things when you only needed to do one thing.

A place for phones. Whether at work or home, consider having a place for your phone. Set up a charger, put your phone there, and leave it there. At work I keep mine across the room, where I can't reach it or see it. At home I put it up on the mantle or in my dresser drawer. Consider having a charging station at the front door, so when your friends come over, you can offer a place where they can leave their phones. Having a place for phones goes a long way toward putting them in their place.

The smartphone is a toll that enables many things, but it will never multiply our presence.